Touching the earth

On Sunday 16th March we tried the practice of touching the earth in gratitude.
This is practiced by Thich Nhat Hahn's plum village community.

There are five "earth touchings" in gratitude for five specific things:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/soulful-nature/the-five-earth-touchings-from-happiness-by-thich-nhat-hanh/647385711953489

I felt there was something very primal about physically touching the earth, particularly at this time of year.

Love and barriers to love: Rev Lindsay Stevens

Some inspiring ministry from Rev Lindsay Stevens today:

Here are some of the highlights:

"The Silk Worm" by Rumi 1207-1273


I stood before a silk worm one day.
And that night my heart said to me,

“I can do things like that, I can spin skies,
I can be woven into love that can bring warmth to people;
I can be soft against a crying face,
I can be wings that lift, and I can travel on my thousand feet
throughout the earth,
my sacks filled
with the
sacred.”

And I replied to my heart,

“Dear, can you really do all those things?”

And it just nodded, “Yes”
in silence.

So we began and will never
cease.

A quote from Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

"Love can do all except raise the dead"

Martin Luther King's 1957 address on loving your enemies:

"The Greek language, as I’ve said so often before, is very powerful at this point. It comes to our aid beautifully in giving us the real meaning and depth of the whole philosophy of love. And I think it is quite apropos at this point, for you see the Greek language has three words for love, interestingly enough. It talks about love as eros. That’s one word for love. Eros is a sort of, aesthetic love. Plato talks about it a great deal in his dialogues, a sort of yearning of the soul for the realm of the gods. And it’s come to us to be a sort of romantic love, though it’s a beautiful love. Everybody has experienced eros in all of its beauty when you find some individual that is attractive to you and that you pour out all of your like and your love on that individual. That is eros, you see, and it’s a powerful, beautiful love that is given to us through all of the beauty of literature; we read about it.

Then the Greek language talks about philia, and that’s another type of love that’s also beautiful. It is a sort of intimate affection between personal friends. And this is the type of love that you have for those persons that you’re friendly with, your intimate friends, or people that you call on the telephone and you go by to have dinner with, and your roommate in college and that type of thing. It’s a sort of reciprocal love. On this level, you like a person because that person likes you. You love on this level, because you are loved. You love on this level, because there’s something about the person you love that is likeable to you. This too is a beautiful love. You can communicate with a person; you have certain things in common; you like to do things together. This is philia.

The Greek language comes out with another word for love. It is the word agape. And agape is more than eros; agape is more than philia; agape is something of the understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill for all men. It is a love that seeks nothing in return. It is an overflowing love; it’s what theologians would call the love of God working in the lives of men. And when you rise to love on this level, you begin to love men, not because they are likeable, but because God loves them. You look at every man, and you love him because you know God loves him. And he might be the worst person you’ve ever".

And Finally...

Margaret played the Alegri Miserere as an organ arrangement. (I regret not having the podcast recorder at the ready for that! ed)

 

What the management committee does and how to join or work with it?

What is the Management Committee?

The Management Committee (or, as it is usually known, ‘the Committee’) is the body that oversees the life and work of the Church. All Committee members become in that capacity Management Trustees of the Church, and sign a declaration that they will discharge their responsibilities in keeping with the expected standards set out by the Charity Commission. (Our Guardian Trustees are a separate body, which comprises members appointed by the Management Committee to act as a sounding board and advisory group on an ad hoc basis, and to oversee the Management Committee’s work. Guardian Trustees meet at least once a year, and are usually people with longstanding connections to the Church. Our Guardian Trustees are currently Gareth Hoskins, Trevor Lewis, Kitty Lloyd-Lawrence, David Strachan, Chris Stutz and Lawrence Tuckman.

Who sits on the Committee, and who chooses them?

All Committee members are formal members of the Church, and the committee is elected at the AGM for the following year. Members must be nominated and seconded by members of the Church. Each member is elected to serve a three year term, on a ‘staggered’ basis, which means that at least two posts on the committee become vacant every year. Committee members may stand for re-election if they wish.

The committee has four officers (Chair, Deputy Chair, Treasurer and Secretary), also elected at the AGM to serve for the coming year. The Secretary is not necessarily also the Minutes Secretary for the Committee.

Other committee members also take on specific portfolios, such as Lettings Officer and Premises Officer.

The Committee has at least 6 members, and the Minister, when in post, attends and participates in every meeting, although without a formal vote.

The Committee may co-opt members of the Congregation to serve as members of the Committee, for a maximum of one year. Such co-optees will normally be members of the Congregation with specific experience or expertise that is needed by the Committee for a particular purpose. It is expected that such co-opted members stand for election at the next AGM if they wish to continue to sit on the Committee.

Current committee members are: Alex Warleigh-Lack (Chair), Paul Richards (Treasurer), Lawrence Tuckman (Facilities), Mary Armstrong (Secretary), Trevor Lewis, Margaret Lord and Christopher Warleigh-Lack. Although she is not a Committee member, Helen Nicholls kindly serves as Minutes Secretary, alternating with Mary Armstrong. Margaret, Mary and Trevor will be stepping down after years of loyal service at the 2014 AGM.

 

What does the Committee do?

The Committee normally meets every month, and has four core functions:

·                           First, it sets out the direction of the Church, in keeping with periodic consultations with the Congregation and the Church Trust Deed.

·                           Second, it is the body to which the Minister is formally accountable, and a sub-group of the Committee undertakes a formal performance review with the Minister on an annual basis.

·                           Third, it monitors the progress of the Church towards its key objectives, often with the help of working parties that it has set up for a particular purpose, such as the current Ministerial Hiring Group or the past Mosaic Group on governance structures.

·                           Fourth, it monitors the more routine matters of Church life, such as lettings and maintenance, while also ensuring that the Church finances are properly administered.

How can I work with the Committee, or shape what it does?

The Committee’s agenda is prepared each month by the Secretary and Chair. If you are a member or regular attender of the Church, you have the right to ask that items be placed on this agenda, and to receive written reasoning from the Chair if such a request is not granted (this will normally be only for issues which are outside the Committee’s remit or of questionable legality).  

If you would like to put an item on the Committee agenda, you can do so by email or in writing to the Chair, Secretary or the Minister. Emails can be sent to alexwarleighlack@gmail.com. Please make sure you send any items for the Committee's attention at least a week ahead of the Committee meeting.

Can I attend the meetings of the Committee?

All Committee meetings are open to the Congregation, but speaking rights are not automatic. They are granted to non-Committee members by the Chair, at her or his discretion. In practice, this means non-Committee members will have speaking rights on any items that they have had placed on the agenda, but not necessarily on other items. Only Committee members may vote at Committee meetings.

 

How can I Find Out What the Committee has Decided?

Each Committee meeting is minuted by the Secretary, and the Minutes are formally agreed at the following Committee meeting. Once they are adopted, they are placed on the website of the Church. Particularly important items are reported on in the Chair’s regular column in our Church newsletter, The Flame.

The renewal of Unitarianism: Who is its custodian?

Today's service was partly in memory of the folk musician and campaigner  Pete Seeger (1919-2014). Seeger reportedly became a Unitarian Universalist out of a need for a rehearsal space!

You can hear all of Guido's address on an MP3 recording on podbean.

Also included was a reading from the mystic poet Khalil Gibran.

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which was your delight"

Guido also mentioned outreach to the disenfranchised working-class young male. A tall order, but here's a link to Billy Bragg at Greenbelt to start us off!

Unitarian Youth Sunday

As always Rev John Harley's ministry was eclectic. It ranged from some surprisingly  moving accounts of the Unitarian youth programme the theme of "brokenness" and "vulnerability".

The biblical account of Jacob and the Angel was re-imagined through poetry. In this image it is depicted by Gaugin.

Treasurer Job Description

Treasurer

RPUC Officers are expected to fulfil their responsibilities methodically, accurately and in keeping with the standards expected by the Charity Commission and, where appropriate, the Inland Revenue. They must also work in keeping with, and to promote, the aims set out in the RPUC Aims Document.

 

In addition to the general duties of a Trustee, which status he or she also holds, the Treasurer has the following particular responsibilities:

 

• Preparing and presenting accurate accounts and financial statements for the Committee and AGM;
• Together with the Chair, ensuring that financial resources are adequate for present and likely future needs;
• Ensuring that adequate accounting procedures and controls are in place;
• Ensuring accounts are prepared, disclosed and audited in keeping with legal requirements;
• Ensuring that salaries for paid staff, including the Minister, are paid on time;
• Monitoring investment activity of RPUC;
• Preparing grant or other funding applications for the RPUC, as appropriate, with, where appropriate, the help of the Chairperson;
• Safeguarding the Title Deeds and Documents of Title to property or other possessions of the RPUC;
• Acting as a point of contact between the RPUC and its bankers and other financial organisations;
• Ensuring that the RPUC and its property are adequately insured, that all monies owed to the RPUC are duly received, and that all debts of the RPUC are fully discharged in a timely manner.

Secretary Job Description

Secretary Job Description

RPUC Officers are expected to fulfil their responsibilities methodically, accurately and in keeping with the standards expected by the Charity Commission and, where appropriate, the Inland Revenue. They must also work in keeping with, and to promote, the aims set out in the RPUC Aims Document.

 

In addition to the general duties of a Trustee, which status he or she also holds, the Secretary has the following particular responsibilities:

 

• Preparing the agenda for RPUC meetings, including the AGM, in conjunction with the Chairperson;
• Ensuring appropriate facilities for the meeting are available;
• Ensuring adequate notice of meetings is given, especially the AGM;
• Receiving agenda items from Trustees and ensuring all required papers for meetings are circulated;
• Ensuring that accurate minutes of Meetings are taken, checked for accuracy, signed, and circulated to Trustees and other recipients as appropriate;
• Ensure that up to date records of the congregation membership are maintained and disseminated as appropriate;
• Ensuring that communications between RPUC and the wider Unitarian movement, e.g. the General Assembly, are addressed in a timely and appropriate manner.

 

Chairperson Job Description

Richmond and Putney Unitarian Church

Chairperson Job Description

As approved at the AGM, 25/3/2012

 

Committee Chairperson

RPUC Officers are expected to fulfil their responsibilities methodically, accurately and in keeping with the standards expected by the Charity Commission and, where appropriate, the Inland Revenue. They must also work in keeping with, and to promote, the aims set out in the RPUC Aims Document.

 

In addition to the normal duties of being a Trustee, which status he or she also holds, the Chairperson of the Committee has the following responsibilities:

 

• Planning the annual cycle of Committee and General meetings;
• Setting the agenda for such meetings, in conjunction with the Secretary;
• Ensuring that the AGM is prepared and runs appropriately, in conjunction with the Secretary;
• Chairing and facilitating meetings, ensuring they run fairly and efficiently;
• Giving direction to RPUC policy;
• Ensuring the implementation of decisions made at RPUC meetings;
• Acting as spokesperson for the Congregation;
• Participating in and, where necessary, leading strategic reviews of RPUC governance or activities;
• Working with the Treasurer regarding funding applications for and on behalf of RPUC, as appropriate;
• Carrying out Performance Review of the Minister and other RPUC employees as appropriate, as part of a review team of 2 or 3 Trustees.

 

A Job Description For Trustees

(from Help is at Hand - Practical Hints for Church Officers and Trustees,

issued by the Unitarian General Assembly)

 

A Job Description for Trustees

 

The National Council for Voluntary Organisations, in its guide for implementing policy in

Voluntary Organisations, suggests that:

All trustees should have:

 

• commitment to the Trust.

• willingness to devote the necessary time and effort to trustee service.

• strategic vision.

• good independent judgement.

• ability to think creatively.

• willingness to speak his or her mind.

• understanding and acceptance of the legal duties, responsibilities and liabilities of

 trusteeship.

• ability to work effectively as a member of a team.

• acceptance of  the principles enunciated by the Nolan Committee of selflessness,

 integrity,  objectivity, accountability, openness, honesty and leadership ability.

 

The duties of trustees are:

• to ensure that the Trust complies with its governing document i.e. its trust deed or

 constitution.

• to ensure that the Trust pursues its objects as defined in its governing document.

• to ensure that the Trust applies its resources exclusively in pursuance of its objects

 i.e. it must not spend money on activities which are not included in its own objects, no

 matter how worthwhile or charitable those activities.

• to contribute actively to the Trust in giving it direction, in making overall policy,

 defining goals, setting targets and evaluating performance.

• to safeguard the Trust’s reputation and promote its values.

• to ensure effective and efficient administration of the Trust.

• to ensure the financial stability of the Trust.

• to protect and manage the property of the Trust and to ensure the proper investment

 of its funds.

• to monitor the performance of staff employed by the Trust.

 

In a Church or Chapel setting, a person is a Trustee, not only if appointed by a Trust Deed but

also if elected to a committee, council or other governing body. The word “Trust” as used

above applies to the body – Church, Chapel, Congregation etc. for which the trustee is

responsible.

Hope

Two highlights from Lindsay Stevens' address on hope:

Holocaust survivor and "logotherapy" psychologist Viktor Frankl describes the hope that sustained him in extreme circumstances:

"My mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.

I did not know whether my wife was alive, and I had no means of finding out (during all my prison life there was no outgoing or incoming mail); but at that moment it ceased to matter. There was no need for me to know; nothing could touch the strength of my love, my thoughts, and the image of my beloved. Had I known then that my wife was dead, I think that I would still have given myself, undisturbed by that knowledge, to the contemplation of her image, and that my mental conversation with her would have been just as vivid and just as satisfying. 'Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death.'

"Man’s Search For Meaning"

Vietnam war napalm attack survivor Kim Phuc describes then hope that comes from offering forgiveness.

"Forgiveness made me free from hatred. I still have many scars on my body and severe pain most days but my heart is cleansed. Napalm is very powerful, but faith, forgiveness, and love are much more powerful. We would not have war at all if everyone could learn how to live with true love, hope, and forgiveness. If that little girl in the picture (NB strong images in this Youtube link- ed) can do it, ask yourself: Can you?"

Kim Phuc 2008

 

 

 

 

 

Archive: "How To Survive/ Thrive In A Secular Culture" 24th November 2013

Rev Roger Bertschausen 

In 2013 Rev. Roger Bertschausen completed a four month sabbatical ministry with the Richmond Unitarian Church, during which he not only led worship but also helped the congregation work through some of its challenges as it considers advertising for a new minister.  This is an edited version of the sermon he gave at his final service on November 24.

Since this article was published by the London and District Unitarian Newsletter, members of Richmond and Putney chapel and its committee have initiated a programme of continuous improvement, to address each of the specific points raised in “Part 2”. Bear with us! We’re on it, and on the first Sunday of every month you have a unique opportunity to  become part of the solution as part of the "Growth Group". Failing that, we will get this guy in. (NB funny link, but one use of mild language Mums and Dads!)

Part 1: 

The problem The UK is a hard place to do church.  I had no idea how hard it was before I came here.  Going to church in the UK is positively counter- cultural.  It takes courage.  Most non-church people I've encountered in the UK seem to view going to church as anywhere from a quaint, irrelevant tradition all the way to ridiculous and maybe even downright evil.  How many of you are hesitant to tell friends and family that you go to a church?  I've heard plenty of Unitarians here confess that it's embarrassing. 

I've seen estimates that six per cent of the British population goes to church regularly.  I'd guess in London it's even lower.  Six per cent!  A few days ago, the former Archbishop of Canterbury asserted that attendance in Anglican churches is a generation from extinction.  The one exception is the Anglican churches lucky enough to be connected to a good school.  This handful of churches is booming because the only way to get your kids into these schools - and enjoy the taxpayer- subsidized education - is to attend and volunteer at the church affiliated with the school.  The result: parents fake religious belief and the pews in this handful of churches are full of fakes (link to another clip here! Ed).  From what I can gather, the Unitarians are in the same boat as the Anglicans, only there aren't any parents faking belief to get their kids into Unitarian schools.  One person I respect predicts the 160 Unitarian churches in Britain today will shrink to under 100 in the next ten years, and the haemorrhaging won't stop there. 

I've asked a lot of people why they think the UK is such a secular society.  From what I've heard, it seems the decline of religion has its roots primarily in the early twentieth century.  Two things happened that changed the status quo.  The first was the fracture that developed between religion and science, with too many churches taking ridiculous stands against scientific principles like Darwin's theory of evolution.  The second, probably more important development was the First World War.  It wasn't just millions of men who died on those fields of poppies, but the idea that there is some sort of God calling the shots, directly or indirectly.  How could a God preside over such meaningless slaughter?

But a funny thing has happened in the U.S. over the past dozen years: the fastest growing "religious" group in the U.S. now is the "Nones" - people who say they are non-religious.  This development was completely unforeseen by sociologists who follow religious trends.  It is a shocking development.  Many sociologists of religion believe the roots of this change lie in the American reaction to 9/11.  While it's presumptuous to compare the American experience of 9/11 to the British experience of

World War One - a few thousand dead versus nearly a million - for whatever reason the impact of these events on religion seems comparable.

I am feeling the impact of this change in my small, conservative city in America's heartland.  The humanists and atheists who twenty years ago would have checked my congregation out now won't consider crossing our doorway.  We're part of the problem, they seem to think.  The problem is religion.  Catholics, evangelicals, Muslims, Hindus, Unitarians.  What's the difference?  It's all religion, and it's all bad. 

Unitarian Universalists in the States will be foolhardy to ignore this change.  We may well find ourselves in the same situation as the Anglicans and the Unitarians here before we know it: on the downward slide.  So I have made it a focus of my time here to study the situation, and to think about possible positive responses to it.  We best pay attention to what's not working for you in this secular environment, but especially to what is working or might work.

Part 2:

Possible Solutions What might work?

  How can you make church viable in a secular society?  I don't see any single, magic answer.  But I do have a hunch there are some things that might help stanch the haemorrhaging, including right here at the Richmond Unitarian Church. 

The first place I'd look for ideas is the Sunday Assembly - also (ingeniously) known as the Atheist Church.  Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet with the co-founder and chief visionary of the Sunday Assembly, Sanderson Jones.  The day after meeting Sanderson, I attended a Sunday Assembly service, or "show" as he calls it.  Sanderson Jones is a genius.  And he has a very large vision.  The day after I attended the Sunday Assembly service, he set out on a multi-continent tour to help start 30 Sunday Assemblies in 30 days. 

The service I attended showed that he is onto something.  Barely nine months old, in a society where only 6 percent regularly attend church, there were 350 enthusiastic folks at the Sunday Assembly that day.  There were lots of young adults, but also plenty of middle-aged and older adults, too, and teens, and littler kids.  While not representative of London's diverse ethnic population, there was probably more diversity than is typical in many Unitarian churches.  More than anything, as I waited in that crowded lobby for admission to the auditorium, there was an abundance of energy and excitement.  There was a palpable expectant buzz.  Once we went into the auditorium and took our seats, the guy sitting next to me enthusiastically welcomed me and said he travels an hour to get there.  He'd never been part of a church before he came to the Assembly four weeks ago.  But he was looking for something.  Meaning?  Community?  Maybe.  Whatever he was looking for, he sure felt like he had found it.

Here are some things I observed about the Sunday Assembly.  They have a concise, clear-cut mission that they focus on like a laser.  Their mission is: "Wonder more/Live better/Help often."  They don't have a hymnal but sing contemporary songs people know like "Lean on Me."  They had an organized kids activity in the back of the room.  They clapped a lot, and right from the outset of the service.  A kid did the reading.  They showed a clip from a TV show that was both funny and poignant.  A

singer/songwriter performed an original song.  The collection was taken in coffee cans, and I had the impression that a fair amount of notes, not just change, went into the cans.  They were skipping the next service and doing a community action day focusing on providing winter coats to the vulnerable instead.  They offered an assortment of delicious homemade cakes for the coffee and tea time afterwards.  The service had all sorts of rough spots - including a band that wasn't very good, microphones that didn't work, and confusion over who was supposed to give the address.  It was easy to tell they'd only been at this for a few months and were still on a steep learning curve. The theme that day - remembrance of war - took them out of their comfort zone, too.  The humour that is their trademark was a little awkward.  Taking on a serious theme was a stretch.  But through it all was the enthusiasm. 

Maybe the greatest genius of the Atheist Church is getting people through the doors in the first place.  350 people!  Isn't that astonishing?  How are they doing it?  Sanderson Jones was in marketing before he became a comedian and now a church leader.  He knows how to get free press.  That helps a lot!  But I think the key might be the shocking paradox of pairing "Atheist" with "Church".  Using "Atheist" as a modifier for "Church" delivers the message with a punch: this isn't an ordinary church.  This isn't your great- grandmother's church.  You might even be able to tell your friends without feeling embarrassed that you are attending the Atheist Church. 

For all that was good and compelling about the experience, I wouldn't join the Sunday Assembly.  It has a rule I can't abide: there can be no mention of God.  You can be a theist, but you have to keep it quiet.  I prefer a church where you can be a theist or you can be an atheist or you can be an agnostic, and you're free to talk about any of them.  God talk is not out-of-bounds, nor is it mandatory.  That, my friends, is a Unitarian church.  To me that's what this world really needs right now: a truly pluralist, embracing church.  So I am not saying that the Unitarian church needs to become the Atheist Church.  But there are undoubtedly some things to learn from the Atheist Church, especially in the areas of focus on mission, marketing, hospitality, and generating enthusiasm and joy at services.  If I were you, I'd send some folks once in a while to the Sunday Assembly and steal a few ideas you might be able to adapt.

Informed by that experience, here are some things I'd recommend for this church - things that I think might help the church survive and even thrive in this secularized environment.  Take these as ideas to get you thinking, not as a mandate! The first thing I'd do if I were you - and I've been saying this now for nearly four months - is figure out what the mission of this church really is.  Zero in on why you're here and what you'd like to be and do as a church.  Find a consensus for something as clear and compelling and concise as "Wonder more/Live better/Help often."  Once you find your mission, make it the centre of everything you do. 

Be as healthy as you can possibly be.  Incessant, negative conflict only attracts unhealthy people who are comfortable with conflict because that's all they know.  I'm not saying that everything has to be nice and tidy - creativity includes positive conflict and so you can and should have some conflict every now and then.

Pay attention to being welcoming.  This begins with the appearance of your building.  This is a lovely building in many ways, but it screams "church"!  In a society where church is a bad brand, this is a problem.  So think about some ways you can mute the churchiness of the building.  I'd especially pay attention to the west entrance – the entrance which passers-by see from the road and through which newcomers will almost always enter.  First impressions matter.  Right now a newcomer entering through that large, intimidating wooden door enters into a dark, claustrophobic little vestibule.  Then they have to turn and go through another door, where they see...a table of used books and other clutter.  “What is this?” I can imagine them thinking.  A second hand charity store?  The wood door could be open, allowing people walking in to look through the inner glass doors right into the church.  Excellent idea!  I'd give similar attention to the notice board outside.  Next time you have a Unitarian minister or student minister speak, ask them to look at the notice board and walk in that main entrance and give you some tips about what might improve the newcomer's experience.

The second part of welcome is human connection.  There is little doubt that newcomers are more likely to return if someone - preferably at least three people not including the minister says hello.  Up until a few weeks ago, I observed two things here: there were brand new people most weeks, and no one besides me talked to them.  And these newcomers didn't come back.  In the past few weeks, I've observed more of you talking to newcomers.  I've also noticed some of them have returned.  Figure out a way to make sure newcomers are greeted!

I'd suggest livening up the services.  Making going to church a joyous experience is an important way to communicate that this is a different type of church.

I'd try to figure out ways to get the message out about this church and, nationwide, about Unitarianism.  Explore ways to get free media.  I'd be tempted to play on the Atheist Church's name and call this the "Atheist/ Agnostic/Theist Church" - a church welcoming to a wide varieties of belief.  That title is shocking in a different sort of way.

I'd explore ways to cultivate the financial generosity of the members and friends of the church.  This is hard: there's not a culture of robust financial support for churches in the UK.  Many Unitarian ministers I've talked to have given up on fighting this one.  It's occurred to me here that if each of the fifty or so people involved in this church gave an extra four pounds a week--the cost of a pint of ale or a latte and a bun - you could add £10,000 to your budget and get that full-time minister.  Maybe that's worth it to you?

I'd suggest trying to create some new programming that gets members and newcomers alike in the door at times other than Sunday morning.  Figure out ways to tap into that thirst for meaning and spiritual (though non-religious) deepening and social justice that is clearly present in the UK.  I'd adopt a spirit of experimentation.  Try some things.  Some won't work, but some might.  What worked for a few centuries is no longer working.  Be daring!

And as I've said before: keep in mind the reason why this matters.  It matters because you have something good here that can change and even save lives - your life or the life of someone you haven't met yet.  You never know: the next visitor through that door may come in overwhelmed by despair and hopelessness.  Finding this place might just be the thing that turns his or her life around.  It's happened before - maybe even to some of you.  It can happen again.  The stakes are high!

 

 

 

Archive: "Written On The Heart" 8th May 2012

Rev Dr Linda Hart

Sometimes friends of mine will engage in a game of ‘I never...’  It’s a simple game where you try to amaze the other players by telling them your favourite ‘I never....’, that is, when you fill in that blank with something you’ve never done that might well have been expected by this time in your life.  When playing the game you can be as mundane or as salacious as the company will bear, though, it’s the most fun when you find the more quirky and unusual.  

 By the end of the game typically all the players will come to a consensus on the most surprising and fun of the contributions.   I can contribute such things as ‘I never have been to Alaska’, or ‘I never have held a snake’ or ‘I never have gone scuba diving.’  These aren’t perhaps the best ones, but I’ll leave it to your imagination as to whether I’m discrete or wicked that the really startling ones aren’t included this morning.

One 'I never' that seems increasingly rare for people of my generation and the following ones is ‘I never have had a tattoo.’  And what’s more until very recently, I’ve never wanted to have a tattoo.  I’m not good with pain, and there’s never been anything that I felt I had to have emblazoned on my body.  I reckon that if I’m going to go through that pain, it had better be for something worthwhile.   Very worthwhile.

 Some friends of mine have gotten tattoos of flaming chalices, an idea I have considered, but only briefly.  One had her appointment on a Sunday morning, and nearly converted the artist to Unitarianism before it was done.  She noted to me that it was a holy time for her to talk about her faith, and she wept at times because of the meaning of this indelible mark on her body:  it was a representation of the indelible mark her faith and practice had made upon her heart, upon her life.  

 Another friend, after a transformative experience at a week long retreat in the desert of New Mexico returned home to have a spiral – the simplest form of labyrinth tattooed on his chest, above his heart.  It was for him the symbol of his journeying into his deepest self and returning again.  

 

Other friends have tattooed words or images that provide a memorial for something or someone who has died who was beloved.  Hearts or stars represent babies who never made it to birth, or siblings who are missed.  

 Some people create something beautiful.  I’m always tempted to say, ‘only beautiful’ as if beauty or even something that is aesthetically pleasing isn’t important, as if it doesn’t mean anything at all.  It does.  Beauty is its own statement of meaning and value and to create beauty however it is done isn’t inconsequential.

 Like I said, I never have wanted to have a tattoo until pretty recently, and even having thought about having one, I didn’t do anything else about it.   But then I had a little thought collision.  Do you have those sometimes?  When a few things that seem unrelated suddenly bash into each other and something new sparks and you find yourself somewhere new.  

 

You see, I was thinking about the way that we get marked by what we believe.  I was thinking about how we are forever, indelibly marked by what we give ourselves to, by what we vow, by the promises that we make in our deepest hearts. And when I say that we are marked by what we vow, I don’t mean only things like wedding vows.  I mean like the promises that we make in our own hearts about what our lives mean and how we wish to live them.  

 

David Sedaris tells the story about his mother who on every New Year’s eve sat with a neverending glass of wine and wrote her resolutions for the year.  She would never tell him or any of her children what she wrote, but she would sit for hours and write and cross out and rewrite and erase and tear up the cards that she wrote her resolutions on.  After hours of working on them, she would be satisfied and – apparently – tuck each year away with the ones from previous years. Years later after she had died he found them.  The date of each resolution was written neatly on the upper left hand corner, and under it were two words, and ever year the words were the same:  Be good.  

 Sedaris comments that his own cards are very much the same, but he is unwilling to be as bold as his mother, so he softens the resolution:  ‘Try to be good.’  Or even ‘Think about trying to be good.’  

 

We are marked by what we vow.  ‘Be good.’  And we measure what we can do and what we have achieved by what is written there:  written on our hearts, written on our arms or chests or hands, written on simple cards.  It is the whispered hopes, the faint dream of what might be, the longing that calls us to attention.

 

When I say ‘vow’ I mean this sort of intention and promise, not only, and perhaps not importantly what is said in the moments of high drama, but that intensely private moment of commitment, that which is typically unseen by any, only experienced by one.  I believe Emerson when he notes that everyone will worship something, will follow and live out beliefs and hunches and those whispering longings no matter if they come to a coherent articulation.  We do, I believe give ourselves over to...over to...

 

This is where language starts to fail me.  We don’t give ourselves to an idea, at least not to an idea alone, no matter how well reasoned and constructed it is.  We don’t just follow and pledge ourselves to a sweet feeling, I don’t think, nor only a powerful one.  The wedding vow, for instance, the traditional one reminds us of what this is if we were to listen instead of reciting it like a childhood rhyme.  'For better and for worse', a bride say to her beloved.  'In sickness and in health', a groom says gazing into the eyes of the one holding his hands.  Through everything, through all that life puts before us.  I will abide with you, and you with me.

 

This is no small thing, no simple statement, and I suspect that if any of us knew what those words meant before we said them to one another, there might be some very long pauses.  Very long pauses.  If any of us knew what the meaning of our deepest vows were, we might well be struck dumb, unable to truly take on 'for worse', 'in sickness'.  We might be left breathless by what it means to step forward into what our words call upon us to do and to be.

 

What we inscribe upon our hearts, what we give ourselves over to is nearly impossible to name, and I find myself only able to say that I give myself over to God, and it is the psalm that then resonates:  ‘You are present before me, behind me, and you hold me in the palm of your hand.’  ‘Where can I go from your spirit, Where can I flee from your presence?’  This vow, this promise that which is written on my heart is always with me, and with you, too, whatever yours might be, in darkness and in delight. 

 

What we intend, what we promise, what we vow in the quiet of our own hearts marks us.  And even if at some distant date you relinquish those vows, even so, you will be forever changed from having made them.  Like those tattoos my friends get.  Even if at some point she decide that having ‘Hortense’ in swirly script across the top of her arm, the removal or reshaping of the image will leave some remnant behind, a scar, a mark, never gone.  

 

That’s the collision.  What we inscribe on our bodies is not unlike what we inscribe on our hearts, and both change us, and guide us even when we’re not thinking about it, and call us to attention when we’ve forgotten or ignored or disobeyed what we meant to follow, what we meant to do.  

 

What would you write upon your heart?  What would you inscribe across your heart if you had the chance, if you had the moment?  ‘Be good’ might indeed be enough to shape a life.  

 

Ware, I plan to put ‘choose life’ upon my left wrist, recognising that the skin on that part of the body is riven with nerve endings and it will hurt more than having it put in another place.  Such a vow is worthy of going through a bit of a trial, I reckon, and it make sense to me now to do so.  I want it there to remind me when I need it:  when I feel lost and bereft, when the difficulties of life present themselves, when there is a time to affirm what is good and remember what makes it possible.

 

I will ask a friend to create the image for me, the words in her careful calligraphy, and in the week after Christmas of this year, I’ll go and have it inscribed, as a celebration of five years of sobriety.  Choose life, that’s it for me.

 

What is it that is inscribed upon your heart?  I ask because the more you know what it is that is written, the easier it is to follow it, the easier it is to give yourself over, the easier it is to remember and to move from that very central place.

 

I will lose one of my favourite and easiest ‘I nevers' in just a few months.  But in doing so, I will once more make that vow that I make each day.  I’ll replace that ‘I never’ with the assurance that I never will forget. May it be that in these days we know, we remember and we live, boldly and well.

Journey Through The Underworld

To Know The Dark
Wendell Berry

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark too blooms and sings,
and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings.

Alex's Address

In many ancient myths, goddesses, gods and heroes find themselves in the underworld, a place of challenge and trial, where normal rules and ways of doing things don’t apply.

In the overworld, they may be powerful and dominant. But here, in the underworld, they are weak, and others are in charge. To emerge, they will need all their resources, their guile and, in some cases, help from others.

 Sometimes this trip is freely chosen, usually to restore a lost lover to life, like Ishtar and Tammuz or Gilgamesh and Enkidu.

But sometimes they find themselves abducted to the underworld, or trapped there, like Persephone.

 A journey through the underworld was how many cultures understood the processes of change and transformation that make up our lives.

 Such journeys could be voluntary, as in initiation rites, or less consciously chosen, such as in extreme grief or, as it was for me, depression. Christian mystics have called this kind of voyage ‘the long dark night of the soul’.

What do you do if you find yourself in the underworld? And how can you get out again?

The first step is to understand why you’re there. It may be that you’re on a short-term loan from the overworld, needing to process grief with an obvious cause, like a loved-one’s death, or a particular pain, before you can return to normalcy.

But it may also be that you have something to learn, change or consider. If you have found yourself in the underworld as a frequent visitor, or if your stay is dragging on, there may well be a reason for this.

I don’t mean the universe has it in for you.

 I just mean that sometimes – more often than we think – the underworld can be a place of transformation, change and growth.

 In his poem ‘To Know the Dark’, Wendell Berry tells us that sometimes an absence of light can be helpful. Get accustomed to it, and we can find a new world whose existence we did not even suspect.

 In Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem ‘Parents of a Murdered Palestinian Boy’, two parents face what may be the cruellest thing that can happen to them. And then, they turn it into something utterly beautiful, a gesture of compassion that staggers in its generosity.

 I see in this act an acceptance of the terrible aspects of the human condition – the existence of weakness, falling short, cruelty and selfishness – and a refusal to let it dominate.

 The psychologist Carl Jung would be impressed by this, but not surprised. He argued that it is only through understanding our weaknesses and transgressions that we have the chance to develop emotional maturity.

He called this the ‘Shadow’ side of human nature – the things we don’t, or don’t want, to understand about ourselves, and the urges or desires we bury as inappropriate or improper.

 For Jung, only by understanding and assimilating our own Shadow can we develop our full potential and achieve psychological health.

 A more recent school of thought - Ecopsychology – holds that that our suffering arises not purely from within, but also, and perhaps primarily, out of broken relationships to the natural world. It can be a rational response to the hardships experienced by many that we witness.

 Many people find themselves in the Underworld when they see the full brutality of life, the needless suffering and cruelty, and perhaps even worse, the necessary suffering. I don’t imagine a gazelle being eaten by a lion enjoys it much.  How can we leave the Underworld when above ground, so to speak, there is so much suffering?

 I think there are many ways out, but the doors become more perceptible when you understand what it is you are needing to learn. Do you need acceptance to deal with something awful that has happened, but which is now unchangeable? Do you need to grapple with your Shadow side to restore yourself to psychological health?

 In many spiritual traditions, there are figures whose role includes the teaching of wisdom. Interestingly, these are often female, with goddesses in various pagan, Hindu, Buddhist and even Christian traditions (the more Gnostic ones) seen as the teachers of spiritual insight and truth.

 They are also often goddesses of transformation and paradox. They are happy to teach, but they don’t always make it easy, and they can often appear as rather scary.

 The wisdom-teaching goddess I have been drawn to is the Crone. In Wiccan and other neopagan traditions, the trinity is female, not male. There is ultimately one Goddess, but She has many faces and can be divided into three main aspects – the Maiden, Mother and Crone. These correlate with the phases of life: birth and youth, maturity, and ageing/death.

 Have you seen The Simpsons Movie? One of my favourite parts of this is when Homer, having been even more selfish and obtuse than normal, is left to his own devices by Marge and the kids. He has to go on a journey that is both literal (walking from Alaska to Springfield) and metaphorical (the quest for understanding).

 He is helped in both by a Native American Shaman, whom he calls "indian Boob Lady". For me, she is the Crone: patiently teaching the same lesson over again, albeit with the odd slap, until the penny finally drops.

 So, a journey through the Underworld can be a source of enlightenment.

 It may not be. Sometimes you’re just there.

 But it can be. And if you ever find yourself there, sit down quietly, and ask yourself: why am I here?

 Perhaps, if we can be open, from pain and labour can come beauty; and, if we are assiduous, even personal transformation.